We had an awesome family vacation this past long weekend - and then heading into this week I knew and realized that it was a "cancer week." Our friend Connie also deals with Follicular Lymphoma. We recall that the day of my very first (R-CHOP) chemotherapy treatment (December 14, 2012) while we were at Valley Hospital starting the treatment, she and her husband happened to walk by our room (I think she had just finished with a maintenance chemo treatment). They noticed us or we caught their attention and we spoke some. I have said before that for me, talking directly with others that have been through something similar to what I am going through is and has been so valuable. Connie mentioned how weird it is to be and feel healthy, and then to deal with maintenance chemo treatments, etc. The way she approached it cognitively/emotionally was by simply saying to herself, acknowledging and accepting that, "I have cancer today" on maintenance treatment days. I have largely approached these times with that perspective and it has been helpful (thank you, Connie), but it continues to be challenging for me mentally/emotionally.
The last couple/few days I have been dealing with more depression. President Gordon B. Hinckley, in his biography on page 382 expressed, "I have a sense of sadness and depression the last few days...I have put on a veneer of smiles, but feel under a deep cloud of depression." When I experience depression, one of the best descriptive words I can identify is a, "cloud." It sets in, most of the time with no context or reason (though perhaps there is some context this week). I "feel" it much more so than I think it. It is not severe, and it doesn't last for more than a couple days usually. It does not typically impair my abilities to function (family, church, work, social, etc.). But it is significant, and is and has been part of my experience (we are still trying to figure out cause or at least contributing factors). I try to approach it the same way I do other adversity - this must be part of what my loving Heavenly Father wants me to experience, and by asking for and relying on strength from my Redeemer, through His Atonement, I feel Comfort and hope.
My one-year post-treatment (even though I'm still doing maintenance treatment) PET scan was Wednesday. We met with Dr. Danko this morning to go over the results. He indicates it is CLEAN - NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE. We are so grateful! Again, Dr. Danko said getting a year (today he added, "a year or two") out with no evidence of disease is very promising. The maintenance chemo treatment went well today. I slept through most of it. I've said it many times before...having Mindy at my side during these appointments and treatments is such a boon to me. I feel so grateful for that.
As I've also indicated, I do blood work before all of my visits with Dr. Danko, and today he noticed a significant drop in my red blood cell count (apparently my level isn't dramatically out of range, but the decrease was dramatic enough for him to be somewhat concerned). I will be doing a few more tests in that regard and will follow up with him in a couple of weeks. I have felt generally fine physically - so this symptom seems strange to me. We'll see.
Finally, some incredibly inspirational things I have found and used recently:
1.) On Twitter I came across a link to this post. It tells of an inspirational experience this lady had, but at the end she wrote, "Cancer did not bury me, it planted me." I feel this way also, and I am grateful.
2.) During this most recent General Conference, I was so touched by a choir's rendition of "Secret Prayer." The last verse powerfully expresses, “When thorns are strewn along my path, and foes my feet ensnare. My Savior to my aid will come, if sought in secret prayer.” Interesting to me that it is the Savior that comes to aid, though our prayers are addressed to Heavenly Father. Implied, to me, is that the Savior comes because the aid received is the enabling and comforting power of the Savior's atonement.
3.) I recently came across this thought by Brad Wilcox: "...think about Savior and Redeemer. ...I grew up thinking that those were synonyms. That Savior meant Redeemer and Redeemer meant Savior, and I just didn’t quite grasp the difference. But as I started learning more about redemption, which is more than just buying back or renewing us to where we were before, kind of getting back to the starting line, but there’s actually a dictionary definition that says 'to make better.' It’s one of many definitions of redemption, but it is what actually gives meaning to all the others, because if you start seeing redemption as just getting back to the starting line, that’s a lot of journeying to just get back to where we were. It’s not about getting back to where we were as much as it is about getting back to where were, better. That’s why we can love the Savior for saving us, but not stopping there." I am grateful that Jesus Christ is my Savior, as well as my Redeemer. I believe that the vast majority of the "purpose" or "reason" for this adversity I have been facing, is to make me better. And for that I am so humbled and grateful.
4.) Finally, through my co-worker I came across this address by Robert L. Millet: BYU Education Week 2003, "God and Human Tragedy: How the Lord Transforms Tragedy into Triumph." I highly recommend it to anyone (it is a 1-hour address). Fantastic analogies and doctrine. Very meaningful to me.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Maintenance Chemo Round 5
We saw Dr. Danko on Tuesday, March 25th where we were able to report that the symptoms we thought might go away due to having no Rituximab in my system, in fact did not go away. He indicated that I would go back on Rituximab for maintenance chemotherapy, and encouraged me to continue following up with the endocrinologist. He said he would consult with the endocrinologist also. He scheduled the next maintenance chemotherapy treatment for April 4th.
So, this past Friday the 4th we visited with him for a bit, then had the treatment. Again, the treatment and after effects are not physically difficult. The Benadryl makes me very sleepy, but otherwise there are virtually no physical effects. The mental/psychological effects are significant for me, however. Having not had a treatment for so long, it felt REALLY weird going back into the chemo suite and having more treatment. I am struggling to get used to the healthy-and-fine, to hooked-up-and-getting-chemo transitions. It contributed to a little depression Friday I think.
My one-year PET scan is scheduled for May 28th. Dr. Danko has said that with my type of cancer, if a recurrence is going to happen, it will most likely happen within the first year. So, the results of this scan have us particularly interested. Though a significant piece of what we have learned is that neither good things (clean scans) nor bad things (diagnosis, recurrence, etc.) cause us to feel too much hope or too much despair. We have learned to simply move forward with faith, knowing without a doubt that Heavenly Father has a perfect understanding of what is best for our family...what will help us become who He would have us become if we allow it.
I read this recently from a Book of Mormon student manual and thought it expressed some of my feelings very well. I love the Book of Mormon:
"Nephi wrote of 'many afflictions' yet also acknowledged many blessings from the Lord. His record recounts numerous trials he and others of his family endured while staying faithful and grateful to the Lord. Nephi felt highly favored because he had come to a great knowledge of the goodness of God (see 1 Nephi 2:16), and relying on His strength became Nephi’s support (see 2 Nephi 4:19–26). The understanding of God’s plan gave context to the afflictions Nephi experienced."
So, this past Friday the 4th we visited with him for a bit, then had the treatment. Again, the treatment and after effects are not physically difficult. The Benadryl makes me very sleepy, but otherwise there are virtually no physical effects. The mental/psychological effects are significant for me, however. Having not had a treatment for so long, it felt REALLY weird going back into the chemo suite and having more treatment. I am struggling to get used to the healthy-and-fine, to hooked-up-and-getting-chemo transitions. It contributed to a little depression Friday I think.
My one-year PET scan is scheduled for May 28th. Dr. Danko has said that with my type of cancer, if a recurrence is going to happen, it will most likely happen within the first year. So, the results of this scan have us particularly interested. Though a significant piece of what we have learned is that neither good things (clean scans) nor bad things (diagnosis, recurrence, etc.) cause us to feel too much hope or too much despair. We have learned to simply move forward with faith, knowing without a doubt that Heavenly Father has a perfect understanding of what is best for our family...what will help us become who He would have us become if we allow it.
I read this recently from a Book of Mormon student manual and thought it expressed some of my feelings very well. I love the Book of Mormon:
"Nephi wrote of 'many afflictions' yet also acknowledged many blessings from the Lord. His record recounts numerous trials he and others of his family endured while staying faithful and grateful to the Lord. Nephi felt highly favored because he had come to a great knowledge of the goodness of God (see 1 Nephi 2:16), and relying on His strength became Nephi’s support (see 2 Nephi 4:19–26). The understanding of God’s plan gave context to the afflictions Nephi experienced."
Monday, February 17, 2014
Canceled Maintenance Chemo, and Questions
That brings us to today, February 17, 2014. Had an appointment for a visit with Dr. Danko and my routine maintenance chemotherapy today. It has been and felt like so long since I've been treated that when they called my name I forgot about the fact that I always do labs (blood draws) first, then I go sit back down in the waiting room, then they call me back for the visit with Dr. Danko's nurse, then Dr. Danko. Weird that I forgot that...
Dr. Danko indicates that all labs appear normal. I have no symptoms or complaints other than my continued hormonal issues. To his knowledge/experience this issue has not been connected to a side effect from Rituximab (my maintenance chemo), but he is curious enough that he wants to try to find out.
He indicated that Rituximab takes about 3 months to leave your system. Rituximab was part of my major chemo treatment (R-CHOP), and it has been my maintenance drug. So, the longest I have been without this drug in the past year+ is about 2 months. Dr. Danko canceled today's treatment and wants to see if when Rituximab clears my system, my hormonal issues go away. This brought us a bit of anxiety - forgoing treatment, but Dr. Danko explained current research, etc. that indicates there is nothing "magic" about the every other month treatment regimen I have been on. He feels confident that this approach will not jeopardize my short or long-term health.
If these three months of not having Rituximab causes the hormonal issues to go away, Dr. Danko will consider pausing the maintenance chemo and having a PET/CT scan and bone marrow biopsy (re-staging) in April. If the scan and biopsy are clean, Dr. Danko may consider discontinuing maintenance chemotherapy completely. Dr. Danko also mentioned a one-time radioactive treatment for Follicular lymphoma maintenance. We didn’t really discuss what would happen if this does not help with the hormonal issue, but we assume it means maintenance chemo will continue as originally planned…not sure.
As time has gone on, recently questions have formed in my head about my cancer. I have listened to some webinars and gone on some online forums, etc. It is interesting to both Mindy and I that I am just now having/forming these questions. I think, for whatever reason, I must feel “ready” to wonder and ask these things at this time.
I asked the following questions of Dr. Danko today:
Q: My diagnosis is/was DLBCL and Follicular lymphoma. Correct?
A: Correct.
Q: Which occurred first (DLBCL or Follicular), and which “transformed” into which? Is there ANY indication of why transformation happened, or what contributed to that happening?
A: Due to the positive reaction of my cancer to the treatment, Dr. Danko suggests that at this point they occurred at the same time (and didn’t transform as we were told on 1/25/13). (Transformed Lymphoma is an aggressive and difficult to treat cancer…we suppose what he is thinking is that if I truly had transformed, I would not have responded this positively to treatment…)
Q: My understanding is that DLBCL was aggressive and highly treatable. My understanding is that I no longer have DLBCL. Is that correct?
A: Correct. There is most often a likelihood that DLBCL recurs within one year….April/May will be one year for me.
Q: What is the likelihood of DLBCL returning?
A: Dr. Danko went over the Prognostic Index results again. Based on that the likelihood is that I have an 80% chance of being clean of cancer 5 years from the ending of treatment (April/May 2013).
Q: My understanding is that my maintenance chemotherapy (Rituximab) is to treat my Follicular lymphoma (and that generally Follicular lymphoma responds well to treatment). Correct?
A: Yes.
Q: The implication of this is that I still have Follicular lymphoma. Correct? If this is true, how are my PET scans coming up as "clean as a whistle" (if I have cancer, how do I have clean scans?)?
A: Scans only show cancer the size of a pea or greater. I could have cancer cells present that never show on a scan unless/until they begin to grow.
I read a great article today from the American Cancer Society entitled, Living With Uncertainty: The Fear of Cancer Recurrence. It states, “A recurrent cancer starts with cancer cells that the first treatment didn’t fully remove or destroy. This does not mean that you got the wrong treatment. It does not mean that you did anything wrong after treatment, either. It means that a small number of cancer cells survived the treatment you had. There were probably too few to be detected on tests or scans. But over time, these cells grew into tumors or the same type of cancer as the first one.”
Q: My understanding is that Follicular lymphoma is not curable. The implication is that I will have cancer for the rest of my life. Is that correct? So, in 5 years I will not be considered, “cured” (I will never be considered, “cured”). Correct?
A: If the Follicular lymphoma is not doing anything (growing, causing symptoms, etc.), we don’t worry about it. Dr. Danko said that “cured” is never a word he likes to use. Even if I had just been diagnosed with DLBCL, he says he never gives a definite promise that the cancer will never come back, even if scans have been clean for five years. This was interesting to me…I suppose I have been looking for a point at which I would be, “in the clear,” though I know there is always a chance of recurrence.
Again, the ACS booklet helpfully indicates, "Most doctors avoid using the term 'cure' because it implies that the cancer is gone forever. As we have discussed, this is almost impossible to say in any case of cancer. The best a doctor can do is say that they can find no signs of cancer in your body at this time. This is most often stated as 'No
evidence of disease.'
(So, when I say that scans are clean, that only means that there is no evidence of any cancer....)
“Your doctor may continue to watch you closely for many years and do tests to watch for any signs of cancer recurrence. There’s no harm in assuring yourself that you are cancer-free if that’s what all the evidence shows. Enjoy the feeling that you do not have cancer. But it’s still possible for cancer to come back even after you have been cancer-free for 5 years or more."
Q: My goal is to stay in remission for the rest of my life. Based on your experience in working with those with Follicular lymphoma, how likely is that to happen (stay in remission for the rest of my life).
A: Dr. Danko does have 3 or 4 patients that have Follicular lymphoma and have been in remission for 6 to 7 years.
Despite all of these medical facts (whether they are interpreted positively or negatively), my faith is still in my Heavenly Father and His plan for me and for my family. I continue to submit 100% to His will, with full confidence and assurance that He knows what kind of life is best for me and my family. I have no doubt in that. Do I want to feel better? Yes. Do I want to be fully “normal” again? Yes. But I have an understanding that come what may, I need to love life. I have the faith to be healed, and I also have the faith to not be healed.
Dr. Danko indicates that all labs appear normal. I have no symptoms or complaints other than my continued hormonal issues. To his knowledge/experience this issue has not been connected to a side effect from Rituximab (my maintenance chemo), but he is curious enough that he wants to try to find out.
He indicated that Rituximab takes about 3 months to leave your system. Rituximab was part of my major chemo treatment (R-CHOP), and it has been my maintenance drug. So, the longest I have been without this drug in the past year+ is about 2 months. Dr. Danko canceled today's treatment and wants to see if when Rituximab clears my system, my hormonal issues go away. This brought us a bit of anxiety - forgoing treatment, but Dr. Danko explained current research, etc. that indicates there is nothing "magic" about the every other month treatment regimen I have been on. He feels confident that this approach will not jeopardize my short or long-term health.
If these three months of not having Rituximab causes the hormonal issues to go away, Dr. Danko will consider pausing the maintenance chemo and having a PET/CT scan and bone marrow biopsy (re-staging) in April. If the scan and biopsy are clean, Dr. Danko may consider discontinuing maintenance chemotherapy completely. Dr. Danko also mentioned a one-time radioactive treatment for Follicular lymphoma maintenance. We didn’t really discuss what would happen if this does not help with the hormonal issue, but we assume it means maintenance chemo will continue as originally planned…not sure.
As time has gone on, recently questions have formed in my head about my cancer. I have listened to some webinars and gone on some online forums, etc. It is interesting to both Mindy and I that I am just now having/forming these questions. I think, for whatever reason, I must feel “ready” to wonder and ask these things at this time.
I asked the following questions of Dr. Danko today:
Q: My diagnosis is/was DLBCL and Follicular lymphoma. Correct?
A: Correct.
Q: Which occurred first (DLBCL or Follicular), and which “transformed” into which? Is there ANY indication of why transformation happened, or what contributed to that happening?
A: Due to the positive reaction of my cancer to the treatment, Dr. Danko suggests that at this point they occurred at the same time (and didn’t transform as we were told on 1/25/13). (Transformed Lymphoma is an aggressive and difficult to treat cancer…we suppose what he is thinking is that if I truly had transformed, I would not have responded this positively to treatment…)
Q: My understanding is that DLBCL was aggressive and highly treatable. My understanding is that I no longer have DLBCL. Is that correct?
A: Correct. There is most often a likelihood that DLBCL recurs within one year….April/May will be one year for me.
Q: What is the likelihood of DLBCL returning?
A: Dr. Danko went over the Prognostic Index results again. Based on that the likelihood is that I have an 80% chance of being clean of cancer 5 years from the ending of treatment (April/May 2013).
Q: My understanding is that my maintenance chemotherapy (Rituximab) is to treat my Follicular lymphoma (and that generally Follicular lymphoma responds well to treatment). Correct?
A: Yes.
Q: The implication of this is that I still have Follicular lymphoma. Correct? If this is true, how are my PET scans coming up as "clean as a whistle" (if I have cancer, how do I have clean scans?)?
A: Scans only show cancer the size of a pea or greater. I could have cancer cells present that never show on a scan unless/until they begin to grow.
I read a great article today from the American Cancer Society entitled, Living With Uncertainty: The Fear of Cancer Recurrence. It states, “A recurrent cancer starts with cancer cells that the first treatment didn’t fully remove or destroy. This does not mean that you got the wrong treatment. It does not mean that you did anything wrong after treatment, either. It means that a small number of cancer cells survived the treatment you had. There were probably too few to be detected on tests or scans. But over time, these cells grew into tumors or the same type of cancer as the first one.”
Q: My understanding is that Follicular lymphoma is not curable. The implication is that I will have cancer for the rest of my life. Is that correct? So, in 5 years I will not be considered, “cured” (I will never be considered, “cured”). Correct?
A: If the Follicular lymphoma is not doing anything (growing, causing symptoms, etc.), we don’t worry about it. Dr. Danko said that “cured” is never a word he likes to use. Even if I had just been diagnosed with DLBCL, he says he never gives a definite promise that the cancer will never come back, even if scans have been clean for five years. This was interesting to me…I suppose I have been looking for a point at which I would be, “in the clear,” though I know there is always a chance of recurrence.
Again, the ACS booklet helpfully indicates, "Most doctors avoid using the term 'cure' because it implies that the cancer is gone forever. As we have discussed, this is almost impossible to say in any case of cancer. The best a doctor can do is say that they can find no signs of cancer in your body at this time. This is most often stated as 'No
evidence of disease.'
(So, when I say that scans are clean, that only means that there is no evidence of any cancer....)
“Your doctor may continue to watch you closely for many years and do tests to watch for any signs of cancer recurrence. There’s no harm in assuring yourself that you are cancer-free if that’s what all the evidence shows. Enjoy the feeling that you do not have cancer. But it’s still possible for cancer to come back even after you have been cancer-free for 5 years or more."
Q: My goal is to stay in remission for the rest of my life. Based on your experience in working with those with Follicular lymphoma, how likely is that to happen (stay in remission for the rest of my life).
A: Dr. Danko does have 3 or 4 patients that have Follicular lymphoma and have been in remission for 6 to 7 years.
Despite all of these medical facts (whether they are interpreted positively or negatively), my faith is still in my Heavenly Father and His plan for me and for my family. I continue to submit 100% to His will, with full confidence and assurance that He knows what kind of life is best for me and my family. I have no doubt in that. Do I want to feel better? Yes. Do I want to be fully “normal” again? Yes. But I have an understanding that come what may, I need to love life. I have the faith to be healed, and I also have the faith to not be healed.
Shingles, Maintenance Chemo Round 3, 5K, LIVESTRONG Graduation, PET Scan and Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 4, Depression
PET Scan Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 2 on 8/13/13 was the last medical update. Here is what has happened (generally) since then:
-9/10/13 Diagnosed with Shingles (on my chest). Antibiotics prescribed. This went away after a few days, thankfully.
-9/24/13 Saw endocrinologist about hormonal issue (we think it is chemo-related, but we're not sure).
-10/14/13 Received maintenance chemotherapy.
-10/26/13 Ran a 5K with my family. Grateful I set the goal, and was a wonderful experience!
-10/28/13 One-year anniversary of this whole deal. I also “graduated” from my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program this day. This day is also Mindy’s birthday! :) Tried to focus on enjoying the day with Mindy, and tried to minimize the emotional effects of recognizing the anniversary.
-11/5/13 Saw endocrinologist – hormonal issue seemed to have gone away.
-11/12/13 PET/CT Scan.
-11/15/13 Scan continues to be clean.
-12/12/13 Spoke with endocrinologist about the return of the hormonal issue.
-12/16/13 Visit with Dr. Danko and received maintenance chemotherapy.
-1/5/14 Experienced some depression around this day – it has happened a handful of times throughout this process. I’ve never experienced this before. Difficult, but gained some insight into what some of those that I work with every day go through. My experience with depression is a very physical experience - there are no identifiable cognitive or environmental causes...
-9/10/13 Diagnosed with Shingles (on my chest). Antibiotics prescribed. This went away after a few days, thankfully.
-9/24/13 Saw endocrinologist about hormonal issue (we think it is chemo-related, but we're not sure).
-10/14/13 Received maintenance chemotherapy.
-10/26/13 Ran a 5K with my family. Grateful I set the goal, and was a wonderful experience!
-10/28/13 One-year anniversary of this whole deal. I also “graduated” from my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program this day. This day is also Mindy’s birthday! :) Tried to focus on enjoying the day with Mindy, and tried to minimize the emotional effects of recognizing the anniversary.
-11/5/13 Saw endocrinologist – hormonal issue seemed to have gone away.
-11/12/13 PET/CT Scan.
-11/15/13 Scan continues to be clean.
-12/12/13 Spoke with endocrinologist about the return of the hormonal issue.
-12/16/13 Visit with Dr. Danko and received maintenance chemotherapy.
-1/5/14 Experienced some depression around this day – it has happened a handful of times throughout this process. I’ve never experienced this before. Difficult, but gained some insight into what some of those that I work with every day go through. My experience with depression is a very physical experience - there are no identifiable cognitive or environmental causes...
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
"Maybe, or maybe not."
I've been listening to an audiobook and came across this. Very valuable and inspirational to me.
------------------------
“He asked, ‘Are you familiar with the concept of equanimity?…Equanimity is the idea that when things are going well, we are at peace. And when things are not going well, we are at peace. The ideal in a spiritual life is to be at peace with what is, and always react steadily.’ We must have looked dumbfounded. ‘Have you heard the story, ‘Maybe, Maybe not?’ Again, we answered no, so he told it to us.
“There was a farmer who used a great horse to help him on his farm. One day his horse ran away. His neighbors said to him, ‘Farmer, that is awful! You lost your horse!’ He replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ Within a few days the farmer was surprised to find that the horse had returned, with three additional wild horses. The new horses could be quite useful on his farm. His neighbors marveled at his good fortune, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky! You now own several horses! You will work so much faster in your fields.’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses but was bucked, resulting in a broken leg. The neighbors came to visit the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, this is tragic! Your son cannot walk!’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ Soon an army troop stormed the town, kidnapping all of the town’s young men to press into service in their war. The troop was attacked and all of the town’s young men perished. The neighbors came to the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky! All of our sons have died, yet you still have yours because he was too injured to go with the soldiers.’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’”
Inconceivable: AMedical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver theUltimate Gift, by Carolyn Savage
------------------------
“He asked, ‘Are you familiar with the concept of equanimity?…Equanimity is the idea that when things are going well, we are at peace. And when things are not going well, we are at peace. The ideal in a spiritual life is to be at peace with what is, and always react steadily.’ We must have looked dumbfounded. ‘Have you heard the story, ‘Maybe, Maybe not?’ Again, we answered no, so he told it to us.
“There was a farmer who used a great horse to help him on his farm. One day his horse ran away. His neighbors said to him, ‘Farmer, that is awful! You lost your horse!’ He replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ Within a few days the farmer was surprised to find that the horse had returned, with three additional wild horses. The new horses could be quite useful on his farm. His neighbors marveled at his good fortune, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky! You now own several horses! You will work so much faster in your fields.’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses but was bucked, resulting in a broken leg. The neighbors came to visit the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, this is tragic! Your son cannot walk!’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ Soon an army troop stormed the town, kidnapping all of the town’s young men to press into service in their war. The troop was attacked and all of the town’s young men perished. The neighbors came to the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky! All of our sons have died, yet you still have yours because he was too injured to go with the soldiers.’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’”
Inconceivable: AMedical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver theUltimate Gift, by Carolyn Savage
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
PET Scan Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 2
Just met with Dr. Danko, and am getting my one chemo drug today. I had a PET scan last week and Dr. Danko let us know that it was, "clean as a whistle" (insert Irish Spring sound clip here). We are very grateful for this as we always are. I'm dealing with some other minor chemo-related issues, but overall, all is well physically.
I was telling Mindy as we parked today that coming back here to CCNW for chemo treatment every two months is bizarre for me. I know how to "be sick," and I know how to "be well," but this in-between place is difficult on my brain and emotions. I have enjoyed getting back to work, but there are times when I'm going about my daily tasks and responsibilities at work, and where I have been and what I have been through the last few months settles on me. It is sometimes really weird to be "back to normal." (And then here I am getting chemotherapy again.) My work/job is a great blessing in my life.
I started my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program for cancer survivors a week ago yesterday. I am very grateful to have this program...I have a strong belief that it will help me significantly with my overall recovery, health, and wellness.
I was telling Mindy as we parked today that coming back here to CCNW for chemo treatment every two months is bizarre for me. I know how to "be sick," and I know how to "be well," but this in-between place is difficult on my brain and emotions. I have enjoyed getting back to work, but there are times when I'm going about my daily tasks and responsibilities at work, and where I have been and what I have been through the last few months settles on me. It is sometimes really weird to be "back to normal." (And then here I am getting chemotherapy again.) My work/job is a great blessing in my life.
I started my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program for cancer survivors a week ago yesterday. I am very grateful to have this program...I have a strong belief that it will help me significantly with my overall recovery, health, and wellness.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Appt with Dr. Danko, Maintenance Chemo Round 1
I contacted Dr. Danko and he got back to me on June 4th. He reiterated that there was nothing abnormal on the scan, and indicated that he was awaiting a couple of tests from the blood they took on May 31st. He said to call him on Friday the 7th. Around that time the clinic called indicating that my appointment was moved up from June 14th to June 11th, so I just waited to talk with him about things on June 11th.
We met with him the morning of June 11th. He recommended I start taking Prilosec a couple times a day for a bit to see if that helped the abdominal pain/discomfort before ordering GI testing.
After visiting with him I received the one chemotherapy drug I’ve mentioned (Rituximab). It took a few hours and there were no complications. Whenever getting chemotherapy (R-CHOP, as well as just this maintenance chemo) they give me some “pre” medications and one of those is Benadryl. There have been times I have stayed awake but this time it made me very tired and I slept for quite a while. And again, there are no side effects associated with Rituximab.
From June 11th to today, the pain/discomfort has decreased…whether it is the Prilosec or not I have no idea. I have been working in out in the yard, and have been working in the office full time with very few problems. Things are going very well.
Mindy and I have discussed it, and we’re not sure how much more we will use this site for updates. In the event that something of significance occurs, we will certainly let you know. We love and are so grateful for our family and friends. Your support, thoughts, and prayers through all of this have made all the difference for me, and for our family. We will forever be grateful to you.
We met with him the morning of June 11th. He recommended I start taking Prilosec a couple times a day for a bit to see if that helped the abdominal pain/discomfort before ordering GI testing.
After visiting with him I received the one chemotherapy drug I’ve mentioned (Rituximab). It took a few hours and there were no complications. Whenever getting chemotherapy (R-CHOP, as well as just this maintenance chemo) they give me some “pre” medications and one of those is Benadryl. There have been times I have stayed awake but this time it made me very tired and I slept for quite a while. And again, there are no side effects associated with Rituximab.
From June 11th to today, the pain/discomfort has decreased…whether it is the Prilosec or not I have no idea. I have been working in out in the yard, and have been working in the office full time with very few problems. Things are going very well.
Mindy and I have discussed it, and we’re not sure how much more we will use this site for updates. In the event that something of significance occurs, we will certainly let you know. We love and are so grateful for our family and friends. Your support, thoughts, and prayers through all of this have made all the difference for me, and for our family. We will forever be grateful to you.
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