Maintenance Chemo Round 5

We saw Dr. Danko on Tuesday, March 25th where we were able to report that the symptoms we thought might go away due to having no Rituximab in my system, in fact did not go away.  He indicated that I would go back on Rituximab for maintenance chemotherapy, and encouraged me to continue following up with the endocrinologist. He said he would consult with the endocrinologist also.  He scheduled the next maintenance chemotherapy treatment for April 4th.   

So, this past Friday the 4th we visited with him for a bit, then had the treatment.  Again, the treatment and after effects are not physically difficult.  The Benadryl makes me very sleepy, but otherwise there are virtually no physical effects.  The mental/psychological effects are significant for me, however.  Having not had a treatment for so long, it felt REALLY weird going back into the chemo suite and having more treatment.  I am struggling to get used to the healthy-and-fine, to hooked-up-and-getting-chemo transitions.  It contributed to a little depression Friday I think. 

My one-year PET scan is scheduled for May 28th.  Dr. Danko has said that with my type of cancer, if a recurrence is going to happen, it will most likely happen within the first year.  So, the results of this scan have us particularly interested.  Though a significant piece of what we have learned is that neither good things (clean scans) nor bad things (diagnosis, recurrence, etc.) cause us to feel too much hope or too much despair.  We have learned to simply move forward with faith, knowing without a doubt that Heavenly Father has a perfect understanding of what is best for our family...what will help us become who He would have us become if we allow it. 

I read this recently from a Book of Mormon student manual and thought it expressed some of my feelings very well.  I love the Book of Mormon:
"Nephi wrote of 'many afflictions' yet also acknowledged many blessings from the Lord. His record recounts numerous trials he and others of his family endured while staying faithful and grateful to the Lord. Nephi felt highly favored because he had come to a great knowledge of the goodness of God (see 1 Nephi 2:16), and relying on His strength became Nephi’s support (see 2 Nephi 4:19–26). The understanding of God’s plan gave context to the afflictions Nephi experienced."