Hospital - From Brad

Author: Brad

In the hospital they got me up doing some walking on Sunday, November 18th…just two days after surgery.  As I got stronger, walking was and felt better and better.  I started off walking to the next room and back, but got stronger and eventually walked the entire 10^th floor. 

The 2^nd night in the hospital was the worst of the worst. I had severe pain in my abdomen that was not going away. Between the pain and the medication they gave me (they tried Morphine), I was pretty wacky. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I remember being convinced in my head that I was bleeding internally, or that something was going very wrong inside of me. I kept rolling and writhing and don’t remember how I made it through the night. It was terrible.

A night or two later (I don’t remember exactly) I was not in that kind of pain, but I couldn’t sleep. They warn and warn you about getting pneumonia while in the hospital, and so they give you an incentive spirometer to get you expanding your lungs (and they tell you to get up and walk, etc.). Well, doing the incentive spirometer and walking isn’t necessarily fun, and so I was not doing those things as much as I should have (I also experienced a general lethargy—not motivated to do anything). Well, this particular late night I couldn’t sleep, and all I could think of is that I, for sure, had pneumonia and that if I fell asleep that night, I would stop breathing because my lungs would fill with fluid. I remember hearing of people “drowning” because of their own lungs being filled with fluid (don't even know if that's factual...). So I lay awake, terrified of drowning or choking to death. I had those terrifying thoughts for an hour or two.

The other worst thing about the hospital stay was the NG tube. They insert this down through your nose and into your stomach (I was anesthetized when the inserted it...gratefully, I hear).  It was tender and painful in my nose the entire time.  And for me, there was almost a de-humanizing feeling associated with it.  It did not seem small in diameter, and to have it hanging out my nose was difficult for me.  They take that out once your bowels start working again (once you pass gas and have a bowel movement).  It was taken out on Tuesday the 20^th, and I was so grateful.  (A follow-up story is the manner in which the nurse took the tube out..  I was wondering if it would be painful, would I need to exhale to get it out, etc.  She sat down by me, and as she pulled said, “I’m just going to pull.”  That was the only warning/instruction I got!  It was not pleasant…but again, benefit far outweighed cost.)  My right nostril was sore from it for a while.

I also have a JP drain in my abdomen..it is somewhat uncomfortable at times but isn't a big deal. Crazy to think they send you home with a hole in your tummy and a rubber tube hanging out. Dr. Holbrook's office called today and wanted to set up an appt for them to check my JP drain. So, we'll go in for that tomorrow. Perhaps they'll take it out...not sure. They are concerned with the amount of fluid that comes out, as well as a certain level of an enzyme that shows that my pancreas is healing or not healing (as a small piece of my pancreas was removed..).

One thing I didn’t necessarily mention above is how bad the NG tube made my throat hurt.  I don’t know the details of how it is inserted, or where, etc., but the back of my throat just killed.  And it was a catch 22 because I could only get it out when my bowels woke up, but swallowing the ice chips, hard candy,etc. killed.  There were points where I would simply refuse to swallow because it hurt so bad.  I would use suction or spit out saliva to avoid swallowing.

I was obviously motivated to swallow, so that my bowels would wake up and I could get the NG tube out.  So, over time I began to pass gas (I think the hospital is the only place where strangers ask if you have passed gas…then, when you tell them you did, they celebrate! Odd.. :) and had a bowel movement.  And as indicated above, the NG tube was removed.

So, the first step is a “clear liquid” diet.  That includes water, and things like grape juice, apple juice, broths, etc.  (And I could still eat the hard candy, etc.).  Grape juice has never tasted so amazing.  I drank a fair amount of that initially.

So long as you keep those liquids down, and are not nauseated, you progress to a “transitional” diet.  This included things like cream of wheat, soups, jello, pudding, etc.  I had cream of wheat that morning and it tasted lovely!  And for lunch I had mashed potatoes and gravy, buttered noodles, etc. 

Then on to regular foods.  My Thanksgiving dinner was corn, rice, and French fries.  

My appreciation for these simple foods has increased dramatically. I also have noticed that I don’t feel “hunger” like I used to (I don’t know if that is due to a small part of my stomach being removed also). 

I recall very clearly while Mindy was in labor with the kids, particularly at times when she was not on epidural medicine, it was pure and utter torture for me to watch her suffer, and be completely powerless to help her. I’ve told the story before that she did the first part of labor with Jordan without an epidural (trying to do a natural birth), then decided to go ahead with the epidural.  Once she got that medicine in her she was able to relax, and “my Mindy” came back.  At the time I broke down into tears…it was so terrible to watch her in pain, and so wonderful to have her back.

Well, it was an interesting thing to have the tables turned during parts of this ordeal.  That second, horrible night, and other times that were painful and bad, Mindy never left my side.  Even though I could not communicate or interact with her when the pain was intense, I was always conscious of her presence and care for me.  That meant a TON to me…and I’m sure was equally torturous for her.

Throughout my stay at the hospital Mindy took opportunities to rub my feet, rub my back, and/or my shoulders.  She did this without a hint of complaint or burden.  And a couple times during my stay, while I could not bathe or shower, Mindy took the time and tender care to wash me with a wash cloth. Having her by my side throughout this, and the experience of feeling her tenderly wash and clean me in that way has broadened my perspective of our marriage, and has significantly deepened my love for her.  I was deeply touched, and although we were and are unable to be close physically right now, I feel more connected to her today than ever before.  What a blessing in my life.