Shingles, Maintenance Chemo Round 3, 5K, LIVESTRONG Graduation, PET Scan and Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 4, Depression

PET Scan Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 2 on 8/13/13 was the last medical update.  Here is what has happened (generally) since then:

-9/10/13 Diagnosed with Shingles (on my chest).  Antibiotics prescribed.  This went away after a few days, thankfully.
-9/24/13 Saw endocrinologist about hormonal issue (we think it is chemo-related, but we're not sure).
-10/14/13 Received maintenance chemotherapy.
-10/26/13 Ran a 5K with my family.  Grateful I set the goal, and was a wonderful experience!
-10/28/13 One-year anniversary of this whole deal. I also “graduated” from my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program this day.  This day is also Mindy’s birthday! :)  Tried to focus on enjoying the day with Mindy, and tried to minimize the emotional effects of recognizing the anniversary.
-11/5/13 Saw endocrinologist – hormonal issue seemed to have gone away.
-11/12/13 PET/CT Scan.
-11/15/13 Scan continues to be clean.
-12/12/13 Spoke with endocrinologist about the return of the hormonal issue.
-12/16/13 Visit with Dr. Danko and received maintenance chemotherapy.
-1/5/14 Experienced some depression around this day – it has happened a handful of times throughout this process.  I’ve never experienced this before.  Difficult, but gained some insight into what some of those that I work with every day go through. My experience with depression is a very physical experience - there are no identifiable cognitive or environmental causes...

"Maybe, or maybe not."

I've been listening to an audiobook and came across this.  Very valuable and inspirational to me.

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“He asked, ‘Are you familiar with the concept of equanimity?…Equanimity is the idea that when things are going well, we are at peace. And when things are not going well, we are at peace.  The ideal in a spiritual life is to be at peace with what is, and always react steadily.’ We must have looked dumbfounded. ‘Have you heard the story, ‘Maybe, Maybe not?’ Again, we answered no, so he told it to us. 

“There was a farmer who used a great horse to help him on his farm. One day his horse ran away. His neighbors said to him, ‘Farmer, that is awful!  You lost your horse!’  He replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’  Within a few days the farmer was surprised to find that the horse had returned, with three additional wild horses.  The new horses could be quite useful on his farm.  His neighbors marveled at his good fortune, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky! You now own several horses!  You will work so much faster in your fields.’  The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses but was bucked, resulting in a broken leg.  The neighbors came to visit the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, this is tragic! Your son cannot walk!’ The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ Soon an army troop stormed the town, kidnapping all of the town’s young men to press into service in their war. The troop was attacked and all of the town’s young men perished. The neighbors came to the farmer and said, ‘Farmer, you are so lucky!  All of our sons have died, yet you still have yours because he was too injured to go with the soldiers.’  The farmer replied, ‘Maybe, maybe not.’” 

Inconceivable: AMedical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver theUltimate Gift, by Carolyn Savage

PET Scan Results, Maintenance Chemo Round 2

Just met with Dr. Danko, and am getting my one chemo drug today. I had a PET scan last week and Dr. Danko let us know that it was, "clean as a whistle" (insert Irish Spring sound clip here). We are very grateful for this as we always are. I'm dealing with some other minor chemo-related issues, but overall, all is well physically.

I was telling Mindy as we parked today that coming back here to CCNW for chemo treatment every two months is bizarre for me. I know how to "be sick," and I know how to "be well," but this in-between place is difficult on my brain and emotions. I have enjoyed getting back to work, but there are times when I'm going about my daily tasks and responsibilities at work, and where I have been and what I have been through the last few months settles on me. It is sometimes really weird to be "back to normal." (And then here I am getting chemotherapy again.) My work/job is a great blessing in my life.

I started my LIVESTRONG at the YMCA program for cancer survivors a week ago yesterday. I am very grateful to have this program...I have a strong belief that it will help me significantly with my overall recovery, health, and wellness.

Appt with Dr. Danko, Maintenance Chemo Round 1

I contacted Dr. Danko and he got back to me on June 4th.  He reiterated that there was nothing abnormal on the scan, and indicated that he was awaiting a couple of tests from the blood they took on May 31st.  He said to call him on Friday the 7th.  Around that time the clinic called indicating that my appointment was moved up from June 14th to June 11th, so I just waited to talk with him about things on June 11th. 

We met with him the morning of June 11th.  He recommended I start taking Prilosec a couple times a day for a bit to see if that helped the abdominal pain/discomfort before ordering GI testing.  

After visiting with him I received the one chemotherapy drug I’ve mentioned (Rituximab).  It took a few hours and there were no complications.  Whenever getting chemotherapy (R-CHOP, as well as just this maintenance chemo) they give me some “pre” medications and one of those is Benadryl.  There have been times I have stayed awake but this time it made me very tired and I slept for quite a while.  And again, there are no side effects associated with Rituximab. 

From June 11th to today, the pain/discomfort has decreased…whether it is the Prilosec or not I have no idea.  I have been working in out in the yard, and have been working in the office full time with very few problems.  Things are going very well. 

Mindy and I have discussed it, and we’re not sure how much more we will use this site for updates.  In the event that something of significance occurs, we will certainly let you know.  We love and are so grateful for our family and friends.  Your support, thoughts, and prayers through all of this have made all the difference for me, and for our family.  We will forever be grateful to you.

Pain/Discomfort, Clean CT Scan

On Fri, May 31, 2013 at 10:26 AM, Brad Reimer <mindnbrad@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey All,

Missy texted to see how things were going, so I thought I would just email you all.  About 2 weeks ago I started having this pain that would come and go in my upper/middle abdomen, below my sternum.  It was only about once a day, and lasted for 5 minutes or so.  We figured it was something connected to digestion.  But the last couple of days it has turned from pain to discomfort, and it is pretty much constant now.  It is not disabling pain, but constant discomfort, and certainly not normal.  

So I called Dr. Danko's office yesterday.  The nurse I spoke with talked with him, and he ordered a CAT scan, which I will be getting in about 30 minutes.  We don't really know what to think at this point, but will certainly keep you all updated.  

Our faith in Heavenly Father and His plan for me and for us is unshakeable.

Brad (and Mindy)

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On Fri, May 31, 2013 at 4:36 PM, Brad Reimer <mindnbrad@gmail.com> wrote:

What an interesting day we've had.  Ultimately, we have no real news, which is good....for now...I think. 

We got to the hospital this morning and waited a while before getting into the CT room.  They did the CT scan, and the tech guy said that since there was a "STAT" order on this scan, I needed to wait for a few minutes before they would let me go.  We assumed that meant that they would read or do a preliminary reading of the scan, and communicate with Dr. Danko.  As we sat in the waiting room we could hear the administrative assistant talking to Cancer Care Northwest.  She then came out and told us that CCNW wanted us to go directly over there.  We assumed that this was not good news....why would CCNW have us come over there to tell us the scan was clean?? 

We went over to CCNW and after a while they took my blood to do labs.  We then waited for a LONG time.  As you can imagine we thought a lot about what we might hear, and what that might mean.  We talked a lot about recurrence (to some degree we have expected tihs...but not this quickly...)  After the long wait, one of the nurses called my name, took us into the hallway, and indicated that nothing was found on the scan, and that Dr. Danko wanted me to stay on a clear liquid diet for 24 hours (to "give my gut a rest") and then call him. 

We're not sure what to think.  We're of course glad that nothing was found on the CT scan.  We obviously want to figure out what the pain/discomfort is all about.  And we were very confused by how this all happened today. 

We love each of you, and so appreciate your love, prayers, and concern for us. 

Brad (and Mindy)

Update - Back to Work, Church

Things have gone well since my last update.  Most days I’ve been feeling pretty good.  I get the occasional pain in my abdomen, and I seem to have some sort of rash we may need to check on, but things are going well.  I think my hair is just starting to grow back a little.

As I’ve spent time mowing the lawn, doing other yard work, playing soccer with the kids, etc. I get very tired and my muscles get and seem to stay perpetually sore.  I think all of this is normal, though I have no idea how long it will last.  It is something I can definitely deal with.

I’ve been able to work 5 hours (my limit while on disability) for most days the last few weeks and things have gone well there.  We had Dr. Danko sign paperwork, and I have been cleared and approved to start back at work full time tomorrow.  This will be another
interesting transition, but one I look forward to.  One thing I don’t look forward to is being away from home more.  While I know I’ve been sick, and recently healing, I have enjoyed spending more time with Mindy and the kids very much.  I will miss that.  Wednesday I head north almost to the Canadian border to assist a couple of prospective adoptive couples.

I’ve been able to attend church regularly again, which has been very nice.  I have missed my ward family very, very much through this experience.  I was able to teach the lesson in High Priests Group on the 4th Sunday the last couple months, and yesterday was sustained and set apart as an instructor in the High Priests Group.  I am very excited for this.  And I’ve been well enough finally to visit the families/individuals that Jordan and I have stewardship over…I have missed this a lot too and I’m glad to be able to engage in hometeaching again.  Jordan has continued to be a great hometeacher, and Brendan has been so good to step in
for me most of the time since I’ve been unable.  I appreciate these boys.

I recently read this from President Gordon B. Hinckley: “I urge you to lift your heads and walk in gratitude. Spare yourselves from the indulgence of self-pity. It is always self-defeating. Subdue the negative and emphasize the positive. Count your blessings and not your problems” (“Ten Gifts from the Lord,” Ensign, November 1985).  This is valuable counsel for me.

Post-Scan Update

The week of April 21st was a good week.  As I indicated in my April 24th update, initially I felt very strong and Mindy and I started walking.  That week we did a 2-mile walk a couple/few times.  But as the week progressed I felt more and more tired and fatigued.  This week has been much the same…more tired and fatigue, though I’ve been able to work several hours at the office throughout the week.

This past Wednesday I had another PET/CT scan.  The all-protein diet wasn’t nearly as
difficult to deal with this time for some reason, and everything with the actual scan went fine.

We had an appointment with Dr. Danko this morning, where he was able to let us know that this scan again was completely clean.  We more or less suspected this, but again we
have learned enough to know not to EXPECT anything.  Needless to say, we were and are
THRILLED.

In my April 12th update I indicated, “The general plan after the PET/CT scan is that I will receive Rituximab (the 'R' in R-CHOP) for maintenance every 6 weeks or so for the next couple years.  This drug alone does not have the harsh effect on the body that R-CHOP has so that will be good.  And I will have PET/CT or CT scans every few months.”

This is indeed the plan, but I will get Rituximab every 2 months, for 2 years.  This maintenance chemotherapy is due to the Follicular component in my diagnosis.  And again, Dr. Danko indicated today that I should not notice any side effects from Rituximab.

So, now comes the process of continuing to heal and repair my body.  I don’t know how long it will take to feel physically “normal,” but I will continue to work on it.

We feel very, very blessed.

The Spring 2013 edition of BYU Magazine features an article about Clayton M. Christensen, a BYU alum, successful businessman, and public speaker.  He expressed some things that I can very much relate with.  He was diagnosed with lymphoma and underwent chemotherapy in 2010.  The article expresses, “Now finished with chemotherapy and in remission from his lymphoma, Christensen has emerged with some takeaways. Along with empathy for others who toil through pain and uncertainty, Christensen says his confrontations with mortality have given him a new perspective on death—and on life. ‘There is no virtue in long life,’ he says. ‘I never had framed it this way, but to ask for [God] to extend my life just to have a longer life just has no meaning.’ With his certainty about what is to come, Christensen says it makes little difference which side of the veil he labors on. ‘What matters is where can I do the most good?’”