Journaling Some Meaningful Quotes of Late

"Zoram... could see God’s providence or man’s manipulation. In conditions not of his choosing, he had to decide how to view himself....He had to decide whether to exercise faith and, in so doing, see his difficult, even unfair, circumstances as the very means by which God would bless him if he acted right."
David B. Paxman, BYU Devotional, July 27, 2010

"I know that my Redeemer liveth;" with Job I testify. What though the ravages of disease destroy my body; what though I am slain by the sword of death—yet I know that he who bought me with his blood shall soon reign on earth and that “in my flesh shall I see God.” (Job 19:26; see also Job 19:25.)  
Bruce R. McConkie, October 1984 General Conference

The entirety of Elder Bednar's March 3, 2013 CES address.  If you have not yet seen or read it, take some time to.

The Pavilion, and a Checkup

Thursday and Friday after treatment weren't great, but Saturday wasn't so bad. I was able to attend part of church on Sunday, then Monday and yesterday were not good at all. Today has been a little better and I hope I'm through the worst of it for this round.

There are times in which it feels that all of this is dragging on, and will not end.  I recently re-read one of President Eyring's most recent General Conference addresses in which he expressed, "We remove the pavilion when we feel and pray, 'Thy will be done' and 'in Thine own time.' His time should be soon enough for us since we know that He wants only what is best."  This provided great peace for me this week.  I am grateful for inspired prophets.

We had a routine check up today with Dr. Danko's NP again. My blood counts decreased again, which isn't abnormal. I didn't have to go back on antibiotics but will need to avoid crowds and such again. The assumption is that my counts will bounce back up in the next couple/few days and all will be fine. Looking forward to the scan next week!

Chemotherapy - Round 4, PET Scan Scheduled, and Family

I had my 4th round of chemotherapy this past Wednesday, the 20th.  We typically check in at CCNW in the morning, get my bloodwork done, see Dr. Danko, then start the chemo.

We did all of that but saw Dr. Danko's nurse practitioner, Teresa Ogden, instead. She was nice and the visit was more brief than we typically have with Dr. Danko.  She let us know that I would NOT be getting the extra drug (Etoposide) today due to my recent dental work.

So we got the chemo going relatively early, and got done around 2:30pm which was nice.  During chemo round 3 I developed a stomach ache for some reason and dealt with that throughout the treatment and into the evening. Luckily I didn't have that this time...I was grateful for that.

As you'll recall, I was to get 4 chemotherapy treatments and then a PET scan.  The scan is scheduled for March 6th.  We're guessing we will find out the results of that at our visit with Dr. Danko just before chemotherapy round 5 on March 12th.  We try to not allow the results of this upcoming scan mean the end of the world, or that I'm 100% cured, but we are definitely anxious for these results as they mean so much in determining the future.  It is 100% in the hands of Heavenly Father.

In the past I have had a good day or two right after the treatments, then deal with a bad week or so.  I didn't get that this time...Thursday and Friday weren't great, but today isn't so bad.  

I went in for my post-op check up with the dentist yesterday..everything healing well with no complications which was great news.

Missy and her kids visited last night...she's in town for Trey's playoff basketball game at University High School this evening..our rival high school here in Spokane Valley.  Mindy and the kids are heading over now to go swimming with them.

Treatment Plan, Postponed Round 4

On Wed, Feb 13, 2013 at 4:32 PM, Mindy Reimer <mindyjreim@gmail.com> wrote:

Dear Family and Friends,

Happy Valentines Eve!

We want to express our love and appreciation for each of you.  We are so grateful for the love, prayers, service and concern you have continued to show our family during this
time. We feel peace and strength through answered prayers and support that sustains us during the ups of downs of this experience.  We are just so grateful to all of you!

Round 3 of chemotherapy went well.  It was a little harder on Brad’s body this time, due to the addition of Etoposide, but still manageable.  We met with Dr. Danko each week during this past three week period between chemo treatments.  The first week Brad’s white blood count had dropped significantly (which is a normal side-effect of chemotherapy) so he was
put on antibiotics and stayed away from crowds.  We were grateful that his counts were back up the second week.  During this visit with Dr. Danko, he shared with us the plan that he had decided upon after speaking with his colleague about Brad’s transformed lymphoma. 

The plan is to finish with Round 4 of RCHOP plus Etoposide.   Three weeks following Round 4, Brad will have a PET scan.  If the PET scan is completely clean, Brad has had a Complete Response (cancer not found), which will be followed with four more rounds (two more than originally planned) of RCHOP plus Etoposide, another PET scan, and maintenance therapy for 2 years (because of the Follicular - low-grade - component).   If the PET scan is not clean, meaning cancer is still found, Brad will have four more rounds of RCHOP plus Etoposide, another PET scan, and most likely a bone marrow transplant.   Then we will go from there.   So this next PET scan will give us an idea of what we will be dealing with. 

This last week Brad has been able to work a bit and has had a few really good days.  

Round 4 was scheduled for tomorrow (we were totally excited about spending the whole Valentine’s day together in the Chemotherapy suite :), but Brad had a tooth bothering him yesterday, so we saw his dentist  this morning and he will be having two teeth pulled tomorrow instead.  (Brad would much rather have Chemo!)  So, Round 4 has been rescheduled for next Wednesday.  The PET scan will be around 3 weeks after round 4, so we will be hearing results about a month from now.  We look forward to those results and more practice in waiting on the Lord.

So, on we go.  Again, we just really appreciate you all.  We hope you are doing well.  Enjoy your Valentine’s Day with your families tomorrow!

Love,

Brad and Mindy

Release, Results, and Chemotherapy - Round 3

On Fri, Jan 25, 2013 at 8:54 AM, Brad Reimer <mindnbrad@gmail.com> wrote:

All,

We keep expressing it, but it is constantly true...we love and appreciate you all so much. We appreciate and greatly value your thoughts and prayers in our behalf.  We appreciate you transporting kids, making posters and orange juice, texts to check in, cards and thoughtful emails, and all of the little things you do to show your love.  We love and appreciate you.  Navigating this experience without all of you would be significantly more difficult.

Things were relatively rough that first week after my second treatment.  A lot of days of just feeling cruddy (they say the number of those days likely increases with each successive
treatment).  However, the last two weeks I really felt fantastic--probably the best since before all of this started.  It was great to be able to engage more, attend church all three hours, and I even was able to start back to work for just a couple/few hours per day.

For those that don't already know, I was released from my calling as Bishop of our ward.  Our Stake President is a wonderful, tender, inspired man, and we are so grateful for
him.  This decision was not an easy one for him and it took time, much prayer, and counsel with his wonderful counselors.  When he extended the release he shared the following scripture with Mindy and I:

Doctrine and Covenants 124:49 Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.

This scripture deeply touched me, and has helped to make sense of the release.  All is right.  I am SO grateful that our ward has an active, engaged, fully functioning bishop and bishopric again.  I could not be more grateful for my counselors and their support through the tail end of my service.

As normal we met with Dr. Danko prior to my third chemo treatment yesterday morning.  We did get test results back and it has been determined that my Lymphoma started out as
Follicular, and has transformed into Large B-Cell Lymphoma.  You may recall that of the two options (two completely separate types, or one type transformed into another) this is the less positive scenario.  Initially, it means that the nature/aggressiveness of the chemotherapy increases (yesterday, on top of the normal R-CHOP regimen they added a drug called Etoposide).  Dr. Danko discussed a couple of other regimens (with acronyms I cannot recall) that will be considered.  He also mentioned that a stem cell transplant
(with my own stem cells...not a donor) may be considered for treatment at some point.  In terms of prognosis, you'll recall that in our December 4th email we spoke of the International Prognostic Index.  It discusses DLBCL, and also Follicular, but not this specific transformed type.  We have more to learn.  Dr. Danko said that the previous percentage of a 70-80% survival rate over 5 years is no longer applicable, and general prognosis with transformed he said was, "not good."  We don't know what that means specifically and for some reason didn't ask specifics yesterday.  He is consulting with other professionals and we have no doubt will come up with the best treatment possible.  We have an appt with him on the 31st where we may learn further specifics in terms of prognosis.

So, third treatment yesterday went fine.  I became pale and had a stomach ache through
most of it, and throughout the day and into the night, but this morning I feel better. Everything else was typical. Gearing up for some likely cruddy days, and looking forward to the good ones after that!

My parents came to visit on the 7th and we had a wonderful time for a few days.  Mindy's parents came into town Monday evening and we have been so grateful for their help also.  Again, we feel so thankful for our blessings.

We love you all.

Brad and Mindy

Post Round 2, and Waiting

On Jan 7, 2013, at 12:19 PM, Brad Reimer <mindnbrad@gmail.com> wrote:

Dear friends and family (written by Mindy),

Brad is doing well. He had a little rougher first couple of days after this second-go-round
of chemotherapy.  Today, though, he is feeling pretty well.

In an email a few weeks ago we had written, “Brad’s labs show that some of the tumor has a component of Follicular Lymphoma.  Dr. Danko is asking a lab to be done on the IGH gene rearrangement of both the DLBCL and the Follicular cells.  Treatment and prognosis depend upon if the DLBCL cells originated on their own, or came from the Follicular cells.  So, we are waiting on more tests there.”  Since then we have been learning more online and waiting and wanting to know whether Brad has two different types of lymphoma or if it is Transformed Lymphoma.

Brad had a Nuelasta shot today (it is used to reduce the risk of infection in patients with some tumors receiving strong chemotherapy that decreases the number of infection-fighting white blood cells).   We (and Dr. Danko) were hoping for results and a chance to discuss those results when Brad went in for his shot, but the results are just not in yet.

It is interesting, because as we have learned more, we have been anxious to know more.  It can be somewhat disappointing to not know.

But we both laughed as we were leaving the Dr.s office.  We must need to learn some patience.  It is better to wait on the Lord than to wait on the labs so that is what we are going to do :).

We know we had let a few of you know we would share the results with you today. We will let you know when we know.

We love and appreciate you.  We have been so blessed by all of your love, concern, prayers, and service.  It is hard to express in words how truly grateful we are to you all.

Love,

Brad and Mindy

First 2013 Update, and Chemotherapy Round 2

On Sat, Jan 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM, Brad Reimer <mindnbrad@gmail.com> wrote:

All,

We're doing OK these days. A few days ago I felt the best I have in weeks. I have learned (OK, still learning..) not to let a good day predict how I will feel the next day, however (not easy for me by personality). Talked to the HR folks at my work about weaning myself back into things. I ran out of vacation/sick and we went ahead with disability insurance for now. Not easy decisions..

This past Thursday night Mindy and I attended the weekly support group at Cancer Care Northwest (the clinic where I'm being treated) for the first time. Was a wonderful experience. Mindy and I took away several amazing "nuggets" from some of the VERY special attendees. Felt like we were on sacred ground for much of the time. Really great experience.

And then, met with Dr. Danko and had second round of chemo Friday. It was much shorter this time which was nice. Have felt a little cruddier this time than I did after first round but oh well. In the big picture I definitely feel like I'm progressing. As the social worker leading the group said, I still feel like I'm "surviving" and not "thriving" yet.

We're still waiting on a test that is pivotal in regards to long term prognosis (something relative to a follicular dynamic I have, and transformation as Mindy partially explained previously...Mindy is the expert as you can tell :). That creates some stress when we let it. Mindy researched it online some more...which can be but sometimes isn't a good thing...

Had a surprise visit from Missy (my sister) and Frank this afternoon. They just wanted to come over to visit for a few hours. It was wonderful, and great to get hugs from my big sister. I love and cherish each member of my family of origin. They are so dear to me.

Attended our adult session of stake conference (this is a description of a stake, and this is a description of stake conference) this evening and it was wonderful. I love our stake and stake leaders. A counselor in the stake presidency spoke about adversity, and testified that Heavenly Father does not allow us to be tempted nor tried more than we can handle. I believe this with all of my heart, and I enjoyed his talk. For our closing hymn we sang hymn number 6, Redeemer of Israel. I felt the Spirit so strongly throughout the entire him, I didn't hardly sing any of it. I am so grateful for my Redeemer and to have the privilege of feeling his Spirit comforting me when I need it.

We love you all. More to come.

Brad and Mindy